1. |
Girl
03:53
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2. |
Post Script
03:43
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I’ve had enough of me, let’s talk about you,
With your burgundy Doc. Martins, and your hair all askew,
You’ve got a lovely face, but it’s this look I deplore,
A dirty scowl engulfs your frame, and I am ignored.
And you’re always sentimental, about European countries,
At times like these, it feels like you’ve forgotten me,
You’ve got your ciggies and your beer, and you think that it’s rebellion,
But there’s nothing rebellious about an age old tradition.
I’m breaking a promise, I didn’t want to be bitter,
Inspirer of passive aggressive messages on twitter,
And I know that’s it hard, trust me, I do it every day,
You always put me down, but I stand up for you anyway.
I don’t regret scrawling this on my note pad,
I regret what I did, but I don’t regret what we had,
If anyone ever finds this dog eared book and reads this,
Know that we loved each other, it wasn’t always like this.
Look at me like I’m a stranger,
Stand back, you think you’re in danger.
You know they say a psychopath is one that finds it hard to find some empathy,
So think of that next time you say something in spite of me,
I’m trying to move on, but this relationship I mourn,
And I quiver and I wonder, I degage and I forlorn,
Every thought that crosses my shrunken mind, seems a tad nihilistic,
So I tear into myself, I guess I’ve gone all masochistic,
And I worry this is bad, and I’m awful and a shit,
But let’s be honest, I doubt you’ll ever hear this.
And repeat after me this time, say I am useless
I AM USELESS
And over and over again, this is fruitless
THIS IS FRUITLESS
And every time I try to get somewhere with you I am unsuccessful,
And I’m sick and tired of even trying, this is so damn stressful.
P.S
I’ve said it all.
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3. |
Moving I
03:19
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4. |
Moving II
03:06
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5. |
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6. |
A Realisation
04:16
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And I remember when I called you, in the middle of the night,
And I thought that it was over, and my knuckles turned bright white,
But in the morning I was woke up, I was plucked up off the floor,
And you told me it was alright, and you let me through your door.
And I remember when I got lost, found myself down in a ditch,
Felt my body purge itself, and felt my brain begin to twitch,
But you steadied me and calmed me, and told me that I was good,
Said that I made you feel happy, and I felt that I really could.
For a while I stopped my howling, you made everything alright,
And we didn’t need to argue, and we didn’t need to fight,
We’d kiss out in the rain, and we’d wrestle on my bed,
But after a while, my woes got into your head,
And we laughed and kissed and loved, it was pretty hard to beat,
But I found it hard to smile, and you found it to eat.
I still cared for you, you helped me through,
And I hope you know, I’ll never forget you.
You were there when I got shaky, but it must have got too much,
You decided to put yourself first, you decided you’d had enough,
And I promise that I tried, to help you through all that I had,
And I know sometimes I wavered, but I don’t think I was bad,
I got too much to handle, I must have made you feel old,
But I promised that I’d help you, in my head I just saw goldz,
And I know that it was broken, but I thought it could be rebuilt,
But all that I have left, are all my friends, and all my guilt.
I still cared for you, you helped me through,
And I hope you know, I’ll never forget you.
And you cling on to memories, and photographs, and letters, and you try to remember how you felt when the photograph was taken, when you first read the notes torn from an old notebook, and you try to replicate the feeling, but feelings can’t be faked, so you sit back and feel your heart get trampled by a realisation, it’s over, and it hurts. But then comes another realisation – it was the best time ever, and it was worth it.
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Calum J Watson Kingsteignton, UK
18 year old musician from Devon, England. Influences include Radiohead, Bon Iver and Bjork.
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